Tuesday, March 11, 2008

An open letter to new-age knitter types

Dear New Age Tibetan Buddhist Knitter,

There may come a time in your life when you are tempted to publish the following in a major online knitting magazine:

I suppose your relationship with your Stash can be seen as a reflection of your personal style. If you are very tidy and someone who actually finishes one project before you begin another (bless your heart) – you may be the one-plastic-bin type. You may also be someone who keeps a tidy home and are an anti-clutterist. If you are the type to have a closet full of Stash, you may be a little more ambitious than the one-bin yarnie, perhaps with two projects running at once. This appeals to me – one big project that stays home and perhaps another more portable project to throw in the knitting bag. Then we move up to those who’s Stash has its own room, well, these people are a little more serious. They purchase yarn without knowing what they are going to make with it – they’ll figure it out later. Lastly there are those like me – absolute fibergasmic freaks. Every color and texture holds a secret treasure yet to be discovered. We rarely have a project in mind when we have S.E.X., we just know we need to have it in our lives.

If that happens, you should stop. Take a deep breath. Meditate for a minute. As you ponder the infiniteness of the universe, take a moment to consider that not every knitter is an over-privileged yuppie dingbat. Good. Breathe some more. Find your center.

I'm sure I'm not a serious knitter by Ms. Manning's lights, and maybe she'd say that's why my stash fits in a plastic bin that lives at the top of my closet. Anyone who knows me, however, will laugh at the idea that I'm organized, have a tidy home, or am an "anti-clutterist." The reason that my stash doesn't have its own room is that my 500-square-foot apartment only has three rooms, and that includes the bathroom. If I sacrifice one of those rooms to my Stash [note the gratuitous capital "S": that's to signal that one's yarn collection is very deep and significant], then I will either have to stop showering, give up cooking, or sleep on an air mattress on the living room floor. It appears not to have occurred to her that people's stashing habits might owe something to constraints of space or budget, rather than "personal style." This particularly brand of dingbattery seems especially rife in on-line knitting circles, and I find it vaguely irksome. Also, are Tibetan Buddhists supposed to be that attached to their possessions?

Other than that irritating article, I'm really liking this issue of Knitty. I'm seriously contemplating knitting Jaden, although I'd want to change the sleeves.

I've also been doing some research for my Jayne hat bag. I knew I wanted to line the thing, and I've been trying to figure out the best way to line a bag if you don't have a sewing machine. I think my best bet might just be to rent studio space at the Needle Shop, where you can use their sewing machines for $10 an hour, although there is the added complication that I haven't actually used a sewing machine since I was about 10. I hope that it's one of those things that you don't forget once you've known how to do it. I could also wait to line it until the next time I see my mother, who is a sewing genius and has what I'm sure is a very nice sewing machine. Knitting Daily has these suggestions, but none of them really appeals.

Anyway, I have learned all about lining and interfacing and many other fascinating bag-related topics, and I am now rather anxious to start my bag. It is entirely possible that it will be a disaster, but I'm pretty sure that I can eventually figure out how to pull the bag thing off. And I would like to go ahead and do that, because I think bags would be fun places to try out all of those cool Barbara Walker stitch patterns that look like so much fun.

That's all. Tomorrow the new grocery store opens, which I'm sure will be the highlight of my week. Unless I have something better to blog about, I will probably be back tomorrow with a full report.

No comments: