Olympic Victory!

No, I'm not talking about Michael Phelps, although there will be swimming in this post. Well, actually there will be talk about my boobs, as per usual, but it will be swimming-related. But first I must show off my Olympic vest, which was completed just in time for the closing ceremonies of the real Olympics.



Cute, no? I have not yet been able to get a decent picture of me in it, but I will try to post one tomorrow.

Today's excitement, aside from it being my birthday, which is really more distressing than exciting at this point in my life, is that I am trying to find a swimsuit so that I can rejoin the master's swim team and become a bit less of a couch potato. This is proving to be a challenge. Last time I bought a swim suit, I went to the very fancy running/ swimming store, where a nice lady helped me pick out a swimsuit that would be appropriate for my rather ample boobage. It was, I seem to recall, a size or two smaller than what would normally be recommended, so that the tight swimsuit would hold my boobs in place. Sadly, I have since misplaced that swimsuit, and the running/ swimming store has apparently gone out of business. At any rate, I would prefer to buy a cheap swimsuit online rather than spend a veritable fortune at the fancy running store. The thing is, I can't remember which size swimsuit to buy. So being a complete fucking moron, I thought I could just google "lap," "swimming" and "big breasts," and I would get some nice tips about how to choose a fitness swimsuit for the top-heavy members of the swimming community.

Now, I have nothing against porn. Truly: I think porn is just great. But it is very annoying when you're looking for perfectly mundane, non-porny advice about fitness apparel and all you can find is links to pictures of hott sexxxy girlz with giant breasts. My giant breasts are neither hot nor sexxy, and I am not interested in giving you a lap dance at this particular moment. I just want swimsuit fitting advice. Google needs a way to filter the porn, for the benefit of those of us with non-porn boob-related questions.

I think I want something along the lines of this utterly boring Speedo, but I can't for the life of me figure out whether I want it in a 6 or an 8.